The Silmarillion Awards: Least Competent Henchman Nominations (CLOSED)

EDIT: Nominations now closed. Thanks, everyone! Voting will open soon!

Welcome to the 2nd Annual Silmarillion Awards! I’m very excited to be participating in this fun blogging event, which gives you a chance to vote on your favorite fantasy book characters in a variety of categories. You can find out more about the Awards on Jenelle Schmidt’s website. Here’s a full list of the categories and their corresponding blogs:

Wisest Councillor Silmaril – Tracey @ Adventure Awaits

Silver Tongue Silmaril – Madeline @ Short and Snappy

Most Epic Hero Silmaril – Abbey @Regarding Reading and Writing

Strangest Character Silmaril – Savannah @Scattered Scribblings

Most Epic Heroine Silmaril – Deborah @Road of a Writer

Most Mischievous Imp Silmaril – Elise @Author E.E. Rawls

Most Magnificent Dragon Silmaril – DJ @DJ Edwardson

Most Loyal Friend Silmaril – Zac @Zachary Totah

Most Nefarious Villain Silmaril – Jenelle @Jenelle Schmidt

And last but not least, there’s my category, which is…

Least Competent Henchman Silmaril

Okay, so in a way, it kinda IS least. 😆 Oh well.

Let’s face it–good henchmen are hard to find these days. Just when you think you’ve got all the snags worked out of your evil plan, one of your minions forgets to lock the drawbridge, or blurts out some crucial piece of information to the hero, or improperly transcribes a spell so that you accidentally transform yourself into a cute little bunny rabbit instead of a mighty dragon.

This Silmaril is for henchman characters who royally screwed up in the execution of their nefarious duties, and will be presented by an infamous underling from The Lord of the Rings. Post your nominees in the comments below.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

  1. These awards are for fantasy characters only. So no sci-fi characters, or anyone from other genres. That being said, given the hazy boundaries of speculative fiction, if you can make a case for an unusual nominee being eligible, go ahead and the awards committee will consider the submission.
  2. You can pick any fantasy book character EXCEPT for characters from your own works or any Tolkien characters (since they are considered the standard for these awards.)
  3. These are lifetime awards, so you can’t nominate last year’s winner…however, the Least Competent Henchman category is new this year, so you don’t have to worry about that issue in this case.
  4. There is no limit on how many characters a single person can nominate.
  5. You can’t second your own nominations, but you can second those of other commenters.
  6. Make sure you specify which book your nominee is from. And feel free to tell us your reason for nominating them, as well!
  7. Spread the word! Use the hashtag #SilmAwards2017 on social media to invite other people to join in the fun.

Also, there’s a giveaway for you to enter! If you didn’t win the Rafflecopter I ran last month, here’s your chance to try again. The prizes are a signed paperback copy of The Beast of Talesend, a custom notebook based on Beast’s cover design, and an ebook copy of Cry of the Sea by D.G. Driver.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

There will also be a special Grand Prize giveaway during the Award Presentations week; stay tuned for further details on that! In the meantime, you can buy commemorative mugs and t-shirts for the Awards at these links:

https://inlovewithimagination.com/products/2017-simarillion-awards-commemorative-fellowship-t-shirt
https://inlovewithimagination.com/collections/special-limited-time-offer-collections/products/the-2017-silmarillion-award-ceremony-commenorative-mug

Go to it! And if you’ve got any questions about the Awards, feel free to ask in the comments!

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Comments (99)

Can I pretty please nominate Kronk? The Emperor’s New Groove *is* fantasy, and it *does* exist in book format (with some amount of flexible interpretation of the term), and…Kronk!

😃 KRONK. That would be so perfect! I am totally behind this idea. I shall consult the powers that be and get back to you on that. Fingers crossed. 😄

OH MY GOODNESS. I literally thought of Kronk the second I heard of this award, and was like “aww, man, why is he a movie character?” Is he really in some form of book? I suppose there’s probably a movie-tie-in picture book of some sort. XD If it counts, I TOTALLY second Kronk. XD (If not, oh well, he’s still a great henchman. XD)

If this counts, I second! 😀

OK, so sadly, the official word from the top is no. While novelizations are a thing, the book has to come before the movie in order for the character to be eligible. But it was such a good suggestion… 😭

*Flips table and rants in squirrel language

So, the question is: is there a bookish equivalent of Kronk…? Hmm. (Meanwhile, love seeing fellow Kronk fans. XD)

If only Kronk were a character from The Emperor’s New Clothes.

If only YZMA were. Man, what I wouldn’t give to be able to use her in Beaumont and Beasley. 😆

Squeaken squeak squeakens!

Kronk gives me life. XD I understand why he can’t be nominated but this was a FANTASTIC idea.

I nominate Fezzik from The Princess Bride!

Good choice! 😀

Ohhh, I second Fezzik! 🙂

Oh, and seconded. Should’ve said that before. XD

Seconding Fezzik, love that guy!

I second Fezzik.

I second Fezzik 🙂

Brazil Brazil Fezzik!

I’ll join the bandwagon and second Fezzik, too!

Man, it is HARD to come up with people for this! o.o

I nominate The Willing Warlock from Charmed Life (Chrestomanci) by Diana Wynne Jones.

There’s one that’s been on my TBR for a while. Looking forward to reading it!

Everything DWJ is SO GOOD. 😀 She writes funny-yet-epic fantasy, like your good self. 😉

Aw, thank you!! 😀 I’ve only read a little of her work, but I love it so far.

Rebekah / Stargazer

(^ y’all funny. XD I understand Kronk not being allowed, but I think it’s so cool so many of us thought of him. XD)

I nominate Brogg from Mossflower by Brian Jacques!

And Stringle from Eulalia!, same author. Jacques could really do least-competent henchmen–er, beasts. 😉

(Kyle why no least competent henchmen in BoTE??? 😉 More like Mindless-Creepy henchmen… ;P )

😆 This is true! There actually was a henchman in the original draft, but I cut him out to expand Whitlock’s role. He was very efficient, though, so that wouldn’t have worked anyway. 😂😂

Second Brogg and Stringle

I nominate Mobrik from Wingfeather Saga.

I nominate Smee from Peter Pan.

Ooh, I second Smee! He’s… very incompetent. XD

I second him as well! 😀

I second Smee!

Rebekah/Stargazer

I second Smee.

I’ll second Smee, since I can’t think of anyone to nominate myself.

I second Smee!

I second Smee as well! I wouldn’t have thought of him, but he’s not a terribly competent henchman. XD

Ah, yes indeed. Seconded!

SMEE! Brilliant. I definitely second him!

Haha, I second Smee. 😉

LeFou from Beauty and the Beast! all the way. xD

I’m not sure LaFou counts…? Since he’s from the movies. A book version of him doesn’t actually exist. But I could be wrong on him counting or not. He would definitely be a great nomination. XD

Hmm, this is true. He’s probably not eligible, given that Kronk isn’t (which I’m still tremendously bitter about by the way but never mind). 😆 Still, he would have been a great nominee.

I also nominate the Burley Men from the Bright Empires series by Stephen Lawhead. They’re classic henchmen! 😀 (And somewhat incompetent at times, fortunately. XD)

Another one on my TBR; that one sounds AWESOME. 😀

Rebekah/Stargazer

I second the Burley men!

I second them!!

Oh yes, I second the Burley men as well!

I nominate Drawlight from Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norwell

I second him! Man, I didn’t like that guy…

I nominate Antorell from Dealing with Dragons! He’s quite incompetent, and always getting melted… not that it ever stops him from trying! 🙂

Never read that book, but it sounds awesome. 😄

It’s my favorite! *whispers… I say that about all the books I love… shhh, don’t tell them*

Ha ha!!! I do too. XD

I second Fezzik.
However, now that I think about it, he really may not “qualify” for this “award”… I mean, he seemed quite successful on many counts…. in his poetry skills, in finding a wheelbarrow, in being a cloaked giant on fire to enter the castle, to clearing a path (“Everybody, move!”)…
Oh, but he’s so lovable! I’ll stick with my second for him. 🙂

Second Antorell!

(Kyle, READ IT! More hilarious fantasy, plus fairytale references. :D)

Awesome!! Definitely putting it on the TBR. 😀

Oh yes! I second Antorell for sure!

[…] don’t forget to drop by Kyle’s blog where he’s giving away a signed copy of The Beast of Talesend this week as part of the Silmarillion Awards celebration! (The ebook is […]

I nominate Ginger from Archer’s Goon.

I second Ginger. XD (He’s kind of great… :P)

*spoilers* but Tonk Fah from Brandon Sanderson’s Warbreaker. …He kept the cloak with Vivenna’s Breath, which ended up being used against him/Denth in the last battle. Silly Tonk Fah.

Seconding Tonk Fah and Smee.
Nominating Puzzle from The Last Battle, if I may. He was sort of a henchman but totally didn’t want to be, and ended up deserting Shift to side with Tirian (well, he was kidnapped by Jill but still).

That’s a perfect nomination!! Seconding Puzzle!

Oh yes! Puzzle for sure. Totally second that one!

I second Puzzle!

Haha, I second Puzzle! I always felt sorry for him.

Me too! Being a donkey owner, I can testify that CS Lewis captured their nature perfectly in Puzzle. 😀

Second Puzzle

Oh, I second Puzzle!! I’ve always loved that little donkey, he never meant to cause any harm…. <3 🙂

Ah yes, Puzzle! I second him! (Also, this category is SO HARD. I literally can’t think of any other characters besides Kronk…who sadly doesn’t count. *pouts* XP)

I agree–the movie/TV realm seems more rich in this kind of character than books, for some reason. XD

I really wish tv shows counted, because there were some terrible henchmen in He-man. In fact, Skeletor was just a terrible villian altogether….

That said, I second Smee, and Fezzik. (and am also sad that Kronk doesn’t count, because he’s perfect for this award!)

Also, because I cannot think of anything else (after 15 whole minutes!) If he counts, I shall like to nominate Wormtail from the Harry Potter series (which is mostly fantasy…)

LOL, I wish TV counted too…Once Upon a Time has a bumper crop of incompetent fantasy henchmen. XD Great nomination, BTW! I second Wormtail.

Once Upon a Time! Yes, it DOES have a great list of henchman to choose from. (Felix and also the Evil Queen’s mirror are two that come to mind.) Too bad they don’t count. 🙂

Those would be great! Fortunately, some of the failed henchmen from there do exist in written form–Smee, for example. XD He messes up in every medium.

I second Fezzik, Wormtail, and Puzzle!

Dobby from Chamber of Secrets. XD

Good one!! Seconded.

Totally thought about nominating Dobby, he bungles everything! However, I was sure if he counted since he’s not technically a henchman…

If he does count, I second Dobby.

Seconding The Willing Warlock, Antorell, Ginger, and Puzzle.

[…] Least Competent Henchman Silmaril – Kyle @ KyleRobertShultz […]

[…] Least Competent Henchman Silmaril – Kyle @ KyleRobertShultz […]

[…] Welcome back to the 2nd Annual Silmarillion Awards! Time to pick which lucky incompetent henchman is going to win one of those big shiny magical rocks that were fashioned before the advent of men. If you’re late to the party and have no idea what I’m talking about, check out the official description of the awards on Jenelle Schmidt’s blog and read the nominations post from last week. […]

[…] Least Competent Henchman Silver Tongue Most Mischievous Imp Strangest Character Wisest Counselor Most Faithful Friend Most Epic Hero Most Epic Heroine Most Nefarious Villain […]

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